LicentiousList used by Exploiters, Liars, Cheats & Criminals: Why Craigslist Personals should be BANNED!

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By safe-at-last

For Mature Readers ONLY

Please Note that some of the things discussed in this hub may offend some people. Further more, none of the content is suitable for persons under the age of 18 years. If you are easily offended or under 18 years of age, please navigate away from this page now. Thank you. safe-at-last

Craigslist is a Haven for Criminals, Cheats and Perverts

Craigslist has caused many people a lot of heart ache around the world with it's personal ads sections that do not require users to register or provide any ID .

In America there have been instances where hitmen have been sought in "wanted" ads. One husband even arranged to have his wife raped by advertising on Craigslist (See related info links on the right ->).

America and the UK have made moves to close down the erotic ads sections, as the governments have realized that it aides in child prostitution and sex trafficking, but in Australia, and hundreds of other countries around the world, Craigslist personals sections are still running full steam ahead.

I have seen ads by "16" year old boys looking for a "dad" who is willing to pay, and 50 year old "daddies" offering money for "sons" or "lilsistas" stating "any size and age welcome". But it is not only ads like these that are cause for concern.

The site is contributing to the destruction of families. It is a haven for 1000's of "married" men who seek discreet, casual affairs.

The majority of the ads in the personals section are in the M4M categories, and many of these are in fact closet gays/bisexual men married to heterosexual women. These guys use the site to solicit sex with other guys. Many of these types of ads seek "unprotected, discreet" sex.

I have even seen ads on there where some guy was asking if anyone had a large, male "K9" to share to "**********". Bestiality is illegal in Australia.

This type of thing just CANNOT continue! We need to demand the government do something about this!

Cheaters of a Different Class

The whole culture of "married" gay/bi men who lead double lives and carry on in gay bath houses and public toilets (cruisin') behind their wife and families backs, is one in which the arts of subterfuge, deception and secrecy become finely honed skills.

These men are liars and cheaters of a different class to their heterosexual peers. They are far less careless and they get caught out a lot less often. Many people in society would be horrified if they had an insight into how these men hide their infidelity.

Their wives are often quite happy that their husbands go on lots of "fishing trips" or "hunting adventures" with "the boys" (mates), and are simply relieved that they prefer such things rather than going to the pub like other husbands who commonly cheat.

They never think about what could really be going on because many of these closet homosexuals/bisexuals make themselves out to be homophobic, and this is why so many of this kind of cheater get away with it for so long.

Here are just 3 examples of gay married men leading double lives in Perth:

A glimpse into the dark side of Craigslist

Here are some examples of the ads in the personals section of craigslist. I should point out that, from what I can gather, the term "boy" is mostly used in these types of ads to describe any male who is "boyish" in appearance rather than "manly".

ALARMING!!!!

If you view the ad postings, most of them do say "must be aged 18 or older" or something similar. A few say aged 16 or older, but an alarming amount actually state "any size and age welcome - will pay CASH".

Other ads do not say anything about age.Even if most of the "boys" are of legal age, 18 - 25 year old "boys" are still vulnerable to exploitation through prostitution, especially those who may be facing financial hardship.

Further more, many of the young women who have come forward and spoken out about their experiences and exploitation at the hands of sex traffickers and violent pimps have described how they were recruited by these monsters at ages as young as eleven, and even detail the fact that they were forced to place their own ads under threat of violence (or worse), and instructed to say they were of legal age.

It is well known that the sexual abuse of boys is extremely under-reported, and that even adult male victims of rape are very unlikely to report sexual assaults due to fear of being humiliated, and I would assume that the same would apply to statisticsof male prostitution and trafficking.

I have to say that the whole concept of 50 year old men seeking 18 year old boys for sexual liaisons disturbs me greatly.

Below is an example of some of the ads for JUST ONE city in the US. If you look at the dates for the ads in both this and the Sydney screen shots above, you will see just how many of these kinds of ads are being posted everyday around the world....

Another Point to Ponder

Another thing that is cause for concern, is the fact that many of these married bisexuals are advertising for "bareback" or unprotected sex. While Craigslist may not be directly responsible for contributing to the spread of HIV and AIDS, they are certainly not helping to stop it either.

I accept that the truth is it is not really Craigslist or any of the other 1000's of websites and magazines that host these contact services who are causing this - it is the lying, cheating pseudo-homophobic pr!cks who are responsible, BUT, even so, Craigslist and other sites like Gumtree (who have at least removed their personals section, but who are still used by these guys who instead place ads in their community sections, especially the "confessions" category) are making it easier for these guys to carry on with their depraved debauchery.

All businesses who provide such services have a moral responsibility (or SHOULD) to society. They should at the very least not make it easier for those in society who have no conscience to carry on with their depravity.

It is sad that many women out there have diseases that will eventually lead to cancer, or have AIDS, and yet don't even know. But why would they even think to consider the possibility if they had been faithful to their partners and have trusted their partners to be faithful too?

Just to clarify where I'm coming from.

At this point, I would like to point out that I have absolutely NO problem with gays, lesbians, transsexuals, transgenders, or heterosexuals. I also have NO problem with those who enjoy "open" relationships, OR monogamous relationships, and I have NO problem with gay marriage either. For me, it is NOT about sexuality, it is about morality.

My reason for writing this hub is because I have learned that married men who lead secret "gay" lives, are simply SOOOOO much better at keeping their secret. What is more, I think a lot of them would be predisposed to violence too. You cannot keep such strong emotions bottled up for so long without them exploding in an uncontrolled manner.

I am also trying to say that I don't care what people's sexual preferences are, so long as they respect others. Most gay people are very respectful. Bisexual men who pretend to be homophobic and cheat on their wives are NOT showing ANYBODY respect!.

My Opinion on Gay Marriage

I think gay marriage should should have been made legal decades ago! I had a relationship with a "homophobic" man who accused me of being a lesbian for 16 years, whilst also frequently asking me to have a threesome with other women and then becoming violent because I would not sleep with another woman, either with him or without him. I eventually found out that he was in fact a bisexual who had been cheating on me the whole time we were together. His excuse? Blame society!

I have a few gay and lesbian friends, and I love them to bits. I don't really think of them as "gay", I think of them as Charlie, Toby, Graham etc... ALL of the gay gals and guys I know are funny, warm, empathetic, honest, great with children and what's more, they have all been loyal friends to me. I respect them and they respect me. I find it rather poignant that NONE of them have any violent anger problems.

While I can understand why many men and women do not "come out" of the proverbial closet, and can certainly say that I blame society for most of these peoples problems and fears, I believe that CLOTHES (not peoples' sexualities) belong in closets!

Society certainly has a lot to answer for due to prejudices of the past, but I hope that the tide has well and truly turned and that young people feel they will be supported by coming out. Keeping one's sexuality hidden is no way to live a happy life.

I very much respect GBLT's who are open about their sexuality, and although I don't have as much respect for those in the closet, I certainly have nothing against them, at long as they are simply being discreet about their sexuality, and not living the lifestyle in secret whilst keeping some poor woman under their thumb just so they can show the world what they want them to see.

I also believe that gay and lesbian couples should be allowed to adopt children if they can meet all the requirements expected of heterosexual couples. A good friend of mine has been in a relationship with another woman for the last 15 years. 9 years ago they decided to become parents, and they saved up for IVF. My friend was the one who chose to be the "mum" and she had the procedure (they used an anonymous donor). They now have 2 sons together. They are GREAT parents, and their kids are so happy and well adjusted. My ex abused our kids - mentally, emotionally and physically. He even managed to put some of his warped ways of thinking about sexuality and his sexist views of women onto them - AT AGE 6 & 7!!!!!

An insight into a betrayed partner's reality:

Now I would like to share my own experiences with you, in the hope that doing so will provide you all with an insight that will foster empathy and understanding, which is what is needed if things are to ever change. Society needs to know the truth!

My ex is a "bikie" with a beard and tattoos. He used to tell me that if one of our children grew up to be gay he would disown them. I tried for years to get him to lighten up about gays, even telling him he was a hypocrite because he was obsessed with lesbian sex. He continually accused me of being a lesbian. In between such accusations, he would ask, beg and attempt to emotionally blackmail me into having a threesome with another woman. When I got upset he would tell me I did not love him.

Then, after 16 years of putting me through HELL, he finally blows me away by telling me that he is bisexual. I told him that I was surprised and obviously very hurt that he had lied to me for so long, but that I thought it probably explained a lot. I told him that I still loved him and that I wanted to support him, and that I would do my best to be supportive and try not to feel too insecure. He looked at me and raised his eyebrows, then said to me "Actually I've been bi since I was 6 years old, but YOU turned me gay" (He was aged over 50 by then).

A few months later I found my ex's profile on a gay dating site. His introduction said "Mature married gent seeks shaved sub gay boy 18 to 25". This would have disturbed me enough just as it was, but what made things worse (in my mind) was that he has 4 adult sons from a previous marriage, the youngest being 19 and the oldest being 27.

My worst fears seemed to be turning into reality when he later mentioned to me that when his youngest was 15 and living with him, he found out the boy was bisexual. He said that after he found out, he started to fantasize about the boy and the boy's mates whenever they had "sleepovers". He also told me he feared that the relationship with his son would turn incestuous (though in stark contrast to his use of the word "fear", he looked anything but fearful or anxious as he was telling me - I would describe the look on his face as that of a kid in a candy store)!

In the months after he "came out" about his sexuality, I asked him many times if he felt he needed to be able to "do his thing". I said I would probably be able to deal with it if he was honest, and told him it was honesty that was important to me, because then I could make my own choices and if I could not handle it it would be my problem and not his. I even offered to consider doing it with him... one day. But he would not accept anything I said and would fly off the handle, saying I did not trust him.

To Wrap Up "My Story"

I hope people can understand what I'm trying to say in this article. My story here is, I realize, based on personal experience, but I have learned that I am not alone when it comes to this kind of thing. It was never about his sexuality for me, it was about his lack of morals and his intentional dishonesty, and the fact that he even used his sexuality as another way of trying to control me and have power over me. He could not even take responsibility for his own sexuality, and blamed it on me and society (he was well into double digits on his list of people he had slept with before I was even BORN!?!?!?). I hope that you can understand what I mean when I say that these types of lying cheats are in a class of their own when it comes to the art of deception and the lengths they go to to get away with their unacceptable behavior.

The worst of all betrayers are these guys who pretend to be totally homophobic, and then go around cheating on their wives with OTHER MEN! Then, if they "come out" about their sexuality and their wives forgive them for lying (and what a whopper of a lie people?) for soooo long, and say that they understand & think it probably explains a lot, and that they still love them and want to support them, the bastards turn around and say something like "actually, I WAS bi, but then you turned me GAY!" Pseudo-homophobic morons who try to blame their wife for pretending to be something they are not (just so they can carry on in gay bath houses behind their Mrs' backs), are just greedy, power hungry, psychopathic control freaks!

My message to bastards like my ex: Leave the rest of society alone you WANKERS! OMG we live in the 2010's, it's almost fashionable to be gay or bi, so quit making excuses for your immoral behavior and lies! Go join a local sex addicts support group before you destroy another family...

Please join me on FaceBook

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Please Note:

All names in this article have been changed for legal purposes and to protect the privacy of the Author. Except where otherwise credited, or where text forms part of an external link, this article is under the following copyright:

Copyright © 2010 Mel Stewart, "safe-at-last", of Perth, Western Australia. All rights reserved.


All persons, places and objects shown in the images in this hub are are shown for illustrative purposes only. They bear no relation to any real person or event. All persons shown are paid models. Unless otherwise credited, all images are under the following copyright:

Copyright © 2010 Mel Stewart, "safe-at-last" and Licensors Nodtronics Pty Ltd. All rights reserved.

Comments

QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 Level 5 Commenter 17 months ago

This hub, while disturbed me a lot, also opened my eyes about something I was very unaware of.

This is to wish you with all the greetings for this season and every other season.

Whatever the faith, religion or belief, united we stand as human beings celebrating each and every happy occasion that may come along our way.

*Merry Christmas* & a *Happy New Year*!!

Visitor Looking 16 months ago

Hello. Your discourse can be summed up in one sentence. "Gay men are having sex with men." Througout your discourse, I was thinking, that this is one person whois bitter towards homosexuals. True, you give away the source of your bitterness at the end of your rant. Craigslist or other sites did not cause your ex to cheat on you. Your ex' free will led him to seek the company of other men. Whether it's Craiglist, another site, a dark alley or other source- men who wish to have rampant sex with other men, will do just that.

safe-at-last profile image

safe-at-last Hub Author 16 months ago

Um, VL, did you actually read the article in its entirety? I say again, it is not about sexuality, it is about morality. I did not write this because I am "bitter" at homosexuals, I want to promote awareness, and about more than just married gay men who cheat.

Yes, I was hurt by a bi/gay man who claimed to be homophobic, and as a result of that, I became aware of something that the greater majority of society knows NOTHING about, which subsequently led to discoveries that are even more shocking.

Despite the fact that it should not have come as a much of a surprise to me that a site which does not require users to register or provide any identifying information is rampant with undesirables, I am never the less astonished and disgusted by how much illegal and immoral activity is carried on with via the personals section of Craigslist and similar sites. I have seen ads on there asking for all sorts of different prescription and illicit drugs and other illegal activity including bestiality. This on top of the fact that it's been proven that the site is used by sex traffickers and other criminals.

I am well aware that it was my ex's choice to do what he did, just as it is the choice of any person who chooses to act without consideration for how their behavior affects others. Yet I am also well aware that the only reason I NOW know about any of the stuff that goes on is because I was first naive and ignorant: I did not even know that this sort of thing went on much at all, let alone just how widespread this kind of thing is, and therefore an easy target. If I had known, I may have suspected something was very wrong in my relationship YEARS before I did. I would have been more "on guard", and therefore perhaps he would not have seen me as an easy target that he could use as a "cover story".

If I had not been so willing to trust "Prince Charming", then perhaps my life would not have been put at risk by a man so hyper-selfish that he felt no qualms about having unprotected sex with multitudes of total strangers over the course of 16 years, all the while promising me he was faithful. He did not give me any choice, so I did not know there was a choice to make.

But I have a choice now: I could choose to be ashamed of how naive I was, or hide my embarrassment and never admit that I was fooled; that I put up with so much (other) abuse from a man who I believed loved me, but who never wanted me for anything other than a means to an end. I could even choose to "exact revenge" by exposing his shameful behavior to his friends and family. Or, like so many others who have experienced similar, I could choose to let the behavior of one gay person lead me to be prejudiced against all other homosexuals, and hold all gay people responsible for my pain, but I will not. I spent 16 years preaching to him that there is nothing wrong with homosexuality and that his hateful prejudice was immoral, and based on ignorance and fear, because that is what I believe. I cannot change my core values and beliefs, and unlike him, I never chose to falsely misrepresent myself. I chose to be honest. Unlike him, I am not a hypocrite.

I am also not an ostrich hiding my head in the sand - I could have chosen to blame HIM for everything but I did not. I ALLOWED it to happen, and I can take responsibility for my own mistakes. Whether I allowed it to happen knowingly or unknowingly, I still "allowed" it to happen because I chose to trust him.

Now, I could choose to be silent, but I will not. I CHOOSE to share my knowledge, in the hopes that those who read what I have written develop a greater awareness, and share their knowledge in turn. Perhaps that way, a few others will be spared from experiencing the same pain that I suffered at the hands of a man who was supposed to love me but betrayed me in every way.

There is a BIG difference between the hundreds of millions of gay men doing their thing, whether openly or more discreetly, but WITHOUT stringing along their wives, girlfriends and/or the MOTHER OF THEIR CHILDREN, and hundreds of thousands of gay men pretending to be straight, "playing house" with poor unsuspecting women, causing ill will by pretending to be a blatant homophobes, just so they can show the rest of the world what they want them to see, and all the while carrying on with the very thing they condemn. You said "Gay men are having sex with men." No shit Sherlock! Did I make an issue of every "male seeking male" ad? No. Some people are gay, and that is fine with me. I brought attention to ads that clearly were written by people with little value for moral integrity, and those that disturb me for the fact that their very existence leaves vulnerable young people open to exploitation. I showed ads where men are behaving in a way that causes harm to others. I showed ads that contain words like "married" or "ANY age, will pay cash" or "bareback". Why? Because what is NOT OK is people who go out of their way to deceive, manipulate, take advantage of, abuse, exploit and put at risk, any trusting and/or vulnerable adult, teenager or child they can.

As for Craigslist causing my ex to cheat, I never implied that at all. Like you said, everyone has free will, and whether a person is a criminal, a pedophile, a "married" gay man, or a heterosexual cheat, each and all who choose to engage in any particular behavior will find a way, but that is no reason for sites like Craigslist to make it easy for them - such sites should not FACILITATE immoral and illegal behavior.

I quote from my article:

"...it aides in child prostitution and sex trafficking... 50 year old "daddies" offering money for "sons" or "lilsistas" stating "any size and age welcome"... some guy was asking if anyone had a large, male "K9" to share to "**********". Bestiality is illegal in Australia... an alarming amount actually state "any size and age welcome - will pay CASH"... 18 - 25 year old "boys" are still vulnerable to exploitation through prostitution....their experiences and exploitation at the hands of sex traffickers and violent pimps have described how they were recruited by these monsters at ages as young as eleven, and even detail the fact that they were forced to place their own ads under threat of violence (or worse), and instructed to say they were of legal age....advertising for "bareback" or unprotected sex. While Craigslist may not be directly responsible for contributing to the spread of HIV and AIDS, they are certainly not helping to stop it either... it is not Craigslist or any of the other 1000's of websites and magazines that host these contact services who are causing this...All businesses who provide such services have a moral responsibility (or SHOULD) to society. They should at the very least not make it easier for those in society who have no conscience to carry on with their depravity..."

Little Bear 6 months ago

It is unfortunate that prejudice towards people who are LGBT, leads individuals to make decisions to cover up who they really are, and how they feel inside. This brings pain to families. Craiglist has personal ads for all types of people. Before Craigslist there were newspaper ads. Gay men met in bars, bath houses, and in other settings. The problem is you married a man who lied to you. His dishonesty hurt your family and your Hub is therapy for your pain. Many older men and women from all orientations prefer younger people over 18. It is not your preference, but if they are of legal age, it is not your right to decide what is right for them who they date. I understand his interest in young men may trouble you because of his adult children. However, having a fantasy, and acting it out, are two differnt things. What spreads AIDS,HIV, and STDs is not Craiglist but people who decide to have unprotected sex. In Africa HIV and AIDS is primarily in the hetro population. Why? Because it entered that population first and spread. In the US it entered the Gay population first and spread. Bisexual people passed it to the hetro population. Many people meet online and have lasting relationships. Instead of blaming Crainglist put the blame where it belongs on the people who were in your marriage. No one can break up a good marriage. If a marriage is based on a big lie then the dishonesty between the parties can lead to the unhappy party being unfaithful. I hope you find peace inside and overcome your anger at his betrayal so you can find real happines.

meyou 12 days ago

Some valid points but definitely a very sexist article. Women cheat too and women use craigslist to do so.

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