Soul-mate to Psychopath: The Most Dangerous Perpetrators of Family Violence

Successful psychopaths are not easy to recognize, although most people think they would be easy to spot... (Hmmm, I think I need a psychopath detector. Anyone know where I can get one of them on a budget? Pocket size would be best...)

Successful psychopaths and sociopaths are very hard to spot, and there are no foolproof guidelines that will help us to recognize them. Most people think of psychopaths as sleazy characters and/or repeat criminals. They may imagine somebody with a dark personality or a man with an insane look in his eye. Most think of a person like Hannibal Lecter in the movie Silence of the Lambs, or real life people like Charles Manson or Jack the Ripper. While this description might be true for unsuccessful psycho's, it is not always true for successful psychopaths.

One could be closer than you think....

Unfortunately, a successful psychopath is usually a person who most people would consider to be "a really nice guy/gal".  The reality is that they are quite difficult to profile, and in fact,  there are more psychopaths living among us than we realize.

They may live next door, down the street, or perhaps even in the same house. This doesn't mean we all need to be paranoid, but it can pay to be cautious of people who display clusters of the personality and behavior traits mentioned below:

Those who have known them for longer will notice they can sometimes be:

• Superficially Charming
• Arrogant
• Ignorant
• Self-Important
• Non-genuine
• Unrealistic
• Irresponsible
• Inconsistent
• Dishonest
• Greedy
  
• Unreliable
• Insincere
• Grandiose
• Shallow
• Irrational
• Paranoid
• Promiscuous
• Domineering
• Judgmental
• Selfish

Most acquaintances, friends and extended family members will usually consider them to be:

• Charming
• Intelligent
• Polite
• Gallant
• Misunderstood
• Considerate
• Helpful
• Genuine
• Generous
  
• Caring
• Knowledgeable
• Capable
• Compassionate
• Impulsive
• Likable
• Sincere
• Romantic
• Emotional
• A victim of circumstance
• Selfless

Their Victims and/or partners will find out that they can be:

• Unfaithful
• Callous
• Violent
• Vicious
• Cruel
• Sadistic
• Parasitic
• Malicious
• Misogynistic
• Contemptuous
• Narcissistic

• Manipulative
• Unpredictable
• Secretive
• Pretentious
• Conning
• Shameless
• Obsessive
• Authoritative
• Insensitive
• Egotistic
• Heartless
• Vengeful

• They are unable to feel Remorse, Shame or Guilt.
• They are able to act as though they have normal emotions, very convincingly.
• They appear so likable because they mirror their victims' values, beliefs and interests.
• They are incapable of Unconditional Love.
• They are incapable of real human attachment to another.
• They have an unrealistic perception of themselves (narcissism, grandiosity, self-importance not based on achievements).
• They are Pathological Liars.
• They lack a realistic Life Plan.
• They often have a Parasitic Lifestyle.
• They are capable of Criminal Versatility and Entrepreneurial Versatility.
• They do not perceive that anything is wrong with them.
• They appear to be what ever they want you to think they are (Glibness/Superficial Charm).
• They are selective of which actions they will take responsibility for.
• They have an excessive need for Stimulation.
• They are very capable and skilled at subtle cruelty.
• They have a complete lack of Empathy.
• They have poor Behavioral Controls.
• They exhibit promiscuous Sexual Behavior.
• They are often guilty of Infidelity.
• They show contempt of those who seek to understand them.
• Their ultimate goals are the creation of willing victims and then enslavement of their victim(s).
• They exercise despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life.
• They have a need to justify their crimes and therefore need their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love).

If you can relate to any of the following, I suggest you run:

• Your partner claims to love and respect you, but you keep getting contradictory reports about what he says to your family and friends.
• A person you know insists that they are not violent yet regularly watches real life snuff videos, and other violent videos, and finds them amusing.
• You find the "computer illiterate" person in your life researching "how to thwart time date stamping" on a computer hackers web site.
• Your self-confessed homophobic partner gets emails from gay dating sites.
• After 2 months without being touched by your partner, you ask why and they say they are just not that interested in sex anymore, but then you find numerous stashes of hand cream, tissues and dirty jocks in various strange places around the house.
• You tell your "soul-mate" that their friend once raped you and they respond with "well that's ok, I raped him".
• You find a balaclava, shovel and rope in your partner's car and find yourself wondering if you are living with a serial killer
• A person who claims to love you more than anything puts a loaded weapon on the table, says that he knows of one way you can make life better for everyone around you and then goes out for two hours.
• Your kids tell you that there is a monster sleeping in your bedroom...

• STOP the Violence Against Women & Children
  Organize to Resist! Together we can take on the Predators! Let's Break the Silence to End the Violence by working together to make our voices a Resounding SHOUT!!! Perpetrators BEWARE - you don't stand a chance!

Please Note:

_{All names in this article have been changed for legal purposes and to protect the privacy of the Author. Except where otherwise credited, or where text forms part of an external link, this article is under the following copyright:}

_{Copyright © 2010 Mel Stewart, "safe-at-last", of Perth, Western Australia. All rights reserved.}

_{All persons, places and objects shown in the images in this hub are are shown for illustrative purposes only. They bear no relation to any real person or event. All persons shown are paid models. Unless otherwise credited, all images are under the following copyright:}

_{Copyright © 2010 Mel Stewart, "safe-at-last" and Licensors Nodtronics Pty Ltd. All rights reserved.}